I turn from the window to go back to other tasks--folding the laundry, putting on my socks (the floor so cold). But the light reminds me of a poem from my childhood, one that made me melancholy, even before I knew what melancholy was. (But I am a Dane, so I may not have known such a time!)
I used to read Robert Louis Stevenson's "The Lamplighter" to myself, sitting on our living room sofa. It was in a Peter Pauper Press book called A Child's Book of Poems, one of a series of the Peter Pauper Press books we had, one of the many, many books we had, all given to us by a man who may or may not have been my mother's lover and who may or may not have smuggled drugs (as my mother believed he did) inside the contact-paper-sheathed volumes, all right under my father's unwatching eyes.
My favorite book was A Child's Book of Poems. I knew I'd grow up to read As a Man Thinketh and The Way of All Flesh and Of Human Bondage and Crime and Punishment--other books my mother's friend had given her. They all seemed grown-up and vaguely erotic to me (though I was surely too young to know any more about eros than I did about melancholy). I'd get to them later.In a Child's Book of Poems I could read about the brave pilgrims in Felicia Heman's bathotic tribute to them: Ay! Call it holy ground,/The soil where first they trod:/They have left unstained what there they found,/Freedom to worship God.
And I could read scary poems, like "Little Orphant Annie" and "An Incident of the French Camp" and sad poems, like "Oh Captain! My Captain!" I could laugh at "Father William" ("Be off, or I'll kick you down the stairs!") and intone the poem I came to recite for my daughters, "Wnyken, Blynken and Nod."
But no other poem in the whole book had the gravitas and wistfulness of "The Lamplighter." I hear it still in my mind. And I see a little boy by a window at dusk, small and frail, and the lamplighter in the cold and on his rounds, brokering with darkness.
| MY tea is nearly ready and the sun has left the sky; | |
| It’s time to take the window to see Leerie going by; | |
| For every night at teatime and before you take your seat, | |
| With lantern and with ladder he comes posting up the street. | |
| Now Tom would be a driver and Maria go to sea, | 5 |
| And my papa’s a banker and as rich as he can be; | |
| But I, when I am stronger and can choose what I’m to do, | |
| O Leerie, I’ll go round at night and light the lamps with you! | |
| For we are very lucky, with a lamp before the door, | |
| And Leerie stops to light it as he lights so many more; | 10 |
| And O! before you hurry by with ladder and with light; | |
| O Leerie, see a little child and nod to him to-night! |
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